I’m seriously concerned with the body image epidemic that plagues young girls all over the world, especially those in the West or those in other countries who are heavily influenced by Western culture (especially advertising). It is a disease of the mind that girls are suffering and even dying from, whether its a quiet yet nagging discontent the back of their head when they open their closet or look in the mirror to full-blown eating disorders.

I want to discuss two main things from the perspective of young girls from South Asian or Arab backgrounds (speaking from what I know…and of course I could be wrong) - their perceptions and management of their weight and their skin color.

What is the “perfect weight” for a woman?

It’s confusing. Signals from Western advertising and clothing companies tell us that the best and most popular size is somewhere below 10 or 8. Older female family members and Aunties tell us that we should be thinner. I know that so many Asian or Arab girls have been told by mothers and aunts quite plainly - “You’re fat.” - when in all reality they are normal (read: in a healthy weight range for their height) and beautiful.

What do you think this does to their self-esteem, their image of themselves as worthwhile people and their understanding of beauty?

The focus on weight and the shape of a woman’s body is sickeningly obsessive and so dangerously deleterious to her health and happiness.

But there’s another realm that tells us the opposite - that curves are sexy and beautiful (although clothing companies don’t seem to take this into effect when deciding on the shape and fabric of their clothes) and the “hourglass” figure is still in fashion. It’s dangerous to be too thin (not for health reasons) but because there’s still the “You’re too skinny” dialogue from matriarchs as well. (yet if these “too skinny” girls were to gain 5 or 10 pounds, they’d be in danger of the “you’ve let yourself go” speech again).

I hate this back-and-forth game that girls have to play to fit into a perfect dress size that will satisfy their mothers, their aunts, and their future-in-laws and husband. Is there any room in there for a woman to find a size and shape that is healthy and gives her pleasure and happiness?

(more…)

sometimes eavesdropping is
the best inspiration

never underestimate the power of environment….sometimes you just need to change the places to which you allow your mind to wander

i was sitting in Panera yesterday, trying to work on a paper. for the most part, i spent my time watching people and doodling on my paper. but suddenly, i got a wave of inspiration and started writing bits of poetry. they never all make sense and i’m not exactly sure where they come from, but i write them down as quickly as possible before they waft away

the crest of the waves seems
higher these days
I hope it will last a bit
longer than before
my mind drowns in
those lows

i think when i don’t have a lot of academic or mentally challenging things to do, my poetic side wanes. instead of the extra time allowing my mind to turn to lyricism and inspiration, i waste a lot of time doing mind-numbing things. but lately…..it’s almost as if the voices have come back….i’ve started to hear my own mind speaking in verse, noticing things that i haven’t thought about for months

i wonder if they’re all looking at me
the strange, pensive girl in the corner
whispering to herself en Français

but it doesn’t matter to me
they don’t realize that my hands
have just found my pen again
and my ears just heard something
that will make my hand fill
scraps of paper for days

i end a line when my pen runs out of space to continue
but then my thoughts seem like broken seashells that
are pieced and re-attached together
and that doesn’t make any sense

one thing i’ve noticed
when I lose my poetry during the day
my heart and mind make up for it during the night
with dreams
my soul needs to express itself

the strangest thing is this - these past few months, though i haven’t been blogging (or even writing on the corner of my notes) at all, though my oratorical side has gone dormant…..it’s as if my mind takes all this pent-up imagery and funnels it into my dreams. i’ve had the most vivid, complicated, and interesting dreams in these past few months that i’ve had in all my life combined. and i remember most of them.

//one dream starred me as a angel who was an expert in martial arts. i was trying to inform the World Council of some imminent danger, but they wouldn’t believe me, so i flew up to the tower where they were having their cabinet meeting and spied on them. my favorite part was my outfit - long robes made up of a pashmina-like embroidered deep red fabric. // another dream involved a combination of a Model UN tournament, the Magic School Bus, Power Rangers, a Mughal poetry party, and the kidnapping of my teacher’s young son, which took place in my old house in Cary, the first home I remember // another dream involved a grown-up Harry Potter trying to fight evil forces who had taken to turning all the world leaders into babies. i was helping him and at one point I was driving him around somewhere and he looked in the back and saw all my Harry Potter books (that i guess i was carrying around for reference). he asked what they were and i told him that they were stories about his life when he was a child. he was fascinated and started flipping through them and pointed to a passage about a battle with You-Know-Who and said “I remember when this happened! But it didn’t happen like this….let me tell you my side of the story!” And then i woke up…blast.

I hope the dreams continue even when I get busier with classes and such….I love the feeling of waking up and momentarily thinking I’m in a different world

Our newest environmental crusader, ladies and gentlemen. Ms. Sheryl Crow. Listen closely to her ideas. They are entirely too revolutionary to be passed over.

Crow calls for limit on loo paper

Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.

Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.

“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting”

“Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.

Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins “represent the height of wastefulness”.

She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a “dining sleeve”.

The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve” after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.

Genius, Ms. Crow. Ge-ni-us.

Seriously….this is a GREAT idea. If we all only used one piece of toilet paper, imagine how much more water and energy we could spend doing laundry to compensate!

Can we get some real solutions to pollution and energy waste? Can we get some celebrities who have real ways to use their positions to promote social change?

In the words of Sumreen, who’s gonna be your friend if they know you’re skimping on the TP?

Have you ever thought back to a period of time in your life and realized how much everything has changed?

“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.”
- Frank Herbert

I can’t believe the last time I posted was in August – eight months ago. So many significant things have happened since then (Alhamdulillah) that I almost don’t even remember what my life was like then.

I kind of disappeared for a while for the past few months. Alhamdulillah, I think I made the right decision. I feel like it was Allah’s way of letting me focus on other things and bringing new experiences into my life. Sometimes you just have to take a break from life to open another chapter.

Last year I decided not to run for MSA Shura again. It was very hard decision to leave something that had been such a large part of my life but after lots of dua and advice (both ways) from friends and family, I decided to not run for re-election. When the new year started and I saw my former position being taken over by two (MashAllah) very great people, I felt a little strange for a while. But I quickly realized that it wasn’t a question of being replaced; it was in fact a great matter of pride that MSA as an organization was so versatile that its successful operation didn’t depend on one individual, MashaAllah.

Since September, I’ve spent my time being engaged to a wonderful man, my Ameir. He is the love of my life, my prince charming, and my soulmate. Above all, finding Ameir and getting engaged to him and getting to know him and the whole family for the past few months is proof to me that Allah listens to prayers very closely and answers them more fully, completely, and beautifully than a mere human could ever imagine. Ameir is everything I have ever prayed for and more. Alhamdulillah. (He also designed my new blog and gallery ) Our nikah is this May in Syria and our wedding is in Raleigh in December InshAllah so please keep us in your duas.

I’ve gotten four sisters in the process too, Alhamdullillah. Maryam is my long-lost sister, my partner in crime. I finally found someone who sees nothing at all wrong with pretending that we’re pirates or talking in mime or incorporating quotes from our favorite movies into normal conversation without blinking an eye. The three little ones have been in Syria since Ameir and I got engaged but I can’t wait to meet them, InshAllah.

I’m going to UNC Law School in Fall 07 InshAllah. The whole LSAT and applications ordeal is finally over, thank God. I hate applications and huge tests but Alhamdullillah it was all worth it.

So I’m back, Alhamdulillah. I took some time to be myself, to think, and I’m setting the foundations for the next chapter of my life. I’m happy, Alhamdulillah.

We plan and Allah plans. Verily, Allah is the best of planners.